Unlike in the traditional father-daughter wedding dance at purity balls, the father is also the date.įather-daughter purity balls are an extreme ritualized expression of themes that arise in evangelical purity literature. The media attention focuses on the wedding-like atmosphere and the ceremonial moment during all purity balls when young women pledge their virginity to their fathers in return for their fathers’ promise of protection. Since the late 1990s, father-daughter purity balls have been gaining media attention as a growing phenomenon among conservative evangelicals. According to the 2008 documentary “The Virgin Daughters,” one in six girls in America takes a purity pledge. The emphasis placed on the father’s role in protecting his daughter’s chaste body until marriage, and the daughter’s commitment to her father as well as God, raises important questions about female autonomy and the value being placed on young girls’ virginity. It also raises troubling questions about a young woman’s ability to make informed sexual choices. Purity balls stand out as a dramatic form of pledging virginity within American evangelicalism. For the daughter, the promise of waiting is the expectation of a gallant and godly husband, approved of by her father, who will provide her with a fairy-tale marriage. The Wilsons are aware that detractors claim that the purity balls are exploitative, commodifying female virginity as in the ancient practice of the “bride price.” Lisa Wilson explains in the documentary “Virgin Daughters” that forging a close relationship between fathers and daughters accomplishes a different goal: “It’s about a bigger picture of expressing dignity and worth and launching our daughters into healthy relationships with men because they respect themselves and they have been taught by their fathers that this is the standard they should expect to be treated with incredible dignity.” The celebration of female virginity at purity balls is directly linked to a strong and close relationship between fathers and daughters.
But participation in purity balls is contested even within evangelical circles.
Purity, they contend, is a sacred choice that puts young women at odds with an American culture that simultaneously degrades female sexuality and limits the father’s role in the lives of his daughters. A godly father who escorts his daughter to a purity ball demonstrates to the young woman that she is valuable and deserves respect. This annual event, the Wilsons believe, affirms young women’s choices to refrain from any sexual contact prior to marriage. Throughout the evening the young women danced with their fathers, listened to testimonials about the power of purity, and, as one young woman summarized, reaffirmed their powerful choice to “say no for the greater yes.” Younger girls dressed in all white performed a dance in front of a large, rough wooden cross, first placing white roses at its base and then spinning around the cross with their arms extended into the air, their skirts floating around their small bodies. Many of the young women had sparkling tiaras on their heads or had braided flowers into their hair. The sweetheart necklines, tulle skirts, pearl earrings, diamond necklaces, three-quarter length white satin gloves, and well-applied makeup, created the impression that every young woman at the ball was a princess in a fairy tale.
The men were dressed in tuxedos with boutonnieres the young women wore lavish A-line ball gowns embellished with sequins, beads, and pearls. The hosts, Randy and Lisa Wilson, organized the Generations of Light Purity Ball, a glamorous occasion with floral centerpieces, a string quartet, dining, dancing, and beautiful decorations throughout the hall. In May 2008, at the Broadmoor Hotel in Colorado Springs, Colorado, a group of conservative evangelicals gathered for a gala event to honor their unmarried daughters. Reprinted from "Saving Sex: Sexuality and Salvation in American Evangelicalism"
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